Our Irregular Dispatch From French Life
This isn't your average newsletter. It’s the honest, occasionally ridiculous, behind-the-scenes look at what it's really like for two Americans and a Golden Retriever to move to France. Whether you’re a daydreamer, a planner, or already knee-deep in French paperwork, this is the one email you’ll actually look forward to.
I Think It’s the Railroad Tracks
The car ran smoothly the rest of the drive, no warning lights, no drama, as if to say everything was fine and I had overreacted.
Should You Ship Your Car to France?
The gendarme pulled me over. As I handed him my license, the only thing I could think to say was, “I look like a potato in that picture.”
Why I Will Never Drive to Paris Again
“The only way out was to pick a side. Headlight or driver’s door?
I chose the door.”
Our First French Electric Bill Was €650
Our kitchen sat at a toasty 58 degrees, the bedroom never crept above 63, and then the electric bill arrived: €650 for two heaters.
We Bought a House in France. Half of It Is a Cave.
The kitchen and family room aren’t “cave-themed.” They are caves. Solid white stone walls that once held up wine presses, now holding up my cookware and a Wi-Fi mesh network.
What It’s Really Like to Watch the Tour de France in Person
I got smoked in the back of the head by a Century 21 keychain and barely dodged a Vittel water bottle doing 30k an hour.
I Rode Six Miles Home on a Flat Tire in France
He turned back. I pointed at the tire and said, “I have a flat tire.” Even though he doesn’t speak English, the confused look on his face made me think he thought I’d said, “I’m fat and tired.”
A €1 Baguette Broke My $30,000 Dental Implants
Honestly? A chipped front tooth looked better than a Bond villain cosplay.
What It’s Like to Stay in Caunes-Minervois, France
The cat did a slow walk through the living room, sniffed a chair, locked eyes with both of us, and left. No explanation. No rush. Just a routine inspection.
I Tore Off My Car Mirror Because I Couldn’t Find a Bathroom in France
Looking in the rearview mirror, I was amazed how fast that mirror moved away from us at 130 kmh.