Our Irregular Dispatch From French Life
This isn't your average newsletter. It’s the honest, occasionally ridiculous, behind-the-scenes look at what it's really like for two Americans and a Golden Retriever to move to France. Whether you’re a daydreamer, a planner, or already knee-deep in French paperwork, this is the one email you’ll actually look forward to.
Germany Seemed Like a Good Idea
The plan was simple: buy a car in Cologne, sell one near a U.S. Army base, celebrate in Reims with champagne by 7:30.
By nightfall I was standing outside a Pizza Hut in the rain.
It’s 2:50 a.m. This Seemed Reasonable.
I had just handed over a very expensive Mercedes to a man I’d never met, wearing knee-high athletic socks, at 3 a.m., with no paperwork, no receipt, and no tow truck.
And he was now towing it across 600 kilometers of French countryside.
I Think It’s the Railroad Tracks
The car ran smoothly the rest of the drive, no warning lights, no drama, as if to say everything was fine and I had overreacted.
Should You Ship Your Car to France?
The gendarme pulled me over. As I handed him my license, the only thing I could think to say was, “I look like a potato in that picture.”
Why I Will Never Drive to Paris Again
“The only way out was to pick a side. Headlight or driver’s door?
I chose the door.”
I Didn’t Know You Could Get Moles in Your Yard in France
Four fresh molehills lined up like runway lights. Viggo was already there. Sniffing, tail wagging, eyes wild with purpose.
Our First French Electric Bill Was €650
Our kitchen sat at a toasty 58 degrees, the bedroom never crept above 63, and then the electric bill arrived: €650 for two heaters.
Is L’Isle-sur-la-Sorgue Market Worth Visiting?
This was D’s all-star game. The big leagues of French markets. She needed to savor this without me tagging along. Me and Sully would probably grab a beer somewhere and wait.
How to Rent a Moving Van in France
“Vous l’avez lavé?”
Did I wash it?
Wash it?
Like… with water?